The Battle Over You

Let me tell you a story.

Once upon a time there was God. He created the world and everything in it. He created the light and dark, the waters and land, animals, and vegetation. Then He made something else. He made this thing called "man" and breathed breath into his lungs. He then formed a partner for this thing called "man" and began a relationship with these living beings known as "mankind."

Then there was this bad guy. This bad guy didn't like at all what God was doing. You see, he wanted to be God and to have His power. So he decided to try and take away that which God had created. He tempted, man bought it, and here we are today.

I may not be the best narrator, but I'm pretty sure you got the picture, or at least be able to identify the story (history). Here's the thing, though…the story is not over. There's a battle constantly going on between good and evil. A battle between God and Satan. We learn about this from an early age (especially if you grew up in a church like me). However, I would, if you will, like to bring forth a new thought about this.

For so long we have talked about the battle between God and the enemy. Sometimes it's kind of talked about like a battle for power, or to show who is stronger. However, we already know who is going to win. The Bible already says it. The Lord wins. The enemy is defeated, and God wins.

I started thinking about this the other day: If we already know who is going to win…if we already know the outcome, then what is this battle about? Is it that God needs to show that He is more powerful? While I do believe that everything in the outcome is to bring glory to God, I also don't think God has to prove His worth. He knows He's going to win. We know He is going to win. The enemy knows He is going to win. So what is the battle for?

You.

God doesn't have to prove anything. He's God. The enemy already knows he's going to lose. So why fight? Well, in a short answer, it's for you. The battle is over your eternity. God is fighting for you because He wants you to be with Him for eternity in heaven. The enemy wants you to go down with him into ruin.

So here's my question now: Who do you want to win the battle over your soul?

When We Don't Understand Why

Let's get real. There are some days, months, or seasons that we go through and we don't really understand why we are going through them. I'll share a little bit of my story, and maybe it will be encouraging to you.

If you guys know me, you know that music is a very big part of my life. I went to college to study music, specifically for the church. It was one of the greatest things I have done in life. I knew God wanted me there, because He made a way for me to do it when all odds were against me. However, by the end of my time receiving my education and degree, I felt kind of burnt out on the whole "worship" music thing, and was not sure if I actually wanted to do that anymore. I was a little worried that I had just wasted all that time and money for something that was uncertain and that I felt I wasn't sure if I wanted to do anymore.

Fast forward about 4 months later, I am now in a place where music is the farthest thing from what I do. Now I am working in another country, teaching math in a school, doing absolutely nothing with music. I have not played an instrument since I moved out here, I have not sung since I moved here, and I have definitely not done any vocal warm ups. Because of this lack of music, I have gone backwards in my "musicalness." My piano and theory skills definitely are not on point like they were, and my singing has suffered. I used to be able to belt an A above middle C, and now I am lucky if I can sing out a D# above middle C without having my voice crack. Being completely honest, it is very discouraging, and I get frustrated many days. Because of talking all the time in class, I never have moments to just let my voice rest, so I always feel horse.

Now don't get me wrong on this next part I am going to say. I absolutely love Honduras and my experience out here (if you could not tell from all of my other posts). I would not trade this part of my life for anything in all of the world. I am beyond grateful to be out here, and I could not be happier. However, through this experience, I constantly ask God why exactly He brought me out here. I see fruits of my time here, and I know God has big plans for why He brought me out here. Many, I'm sure, I will not see until later, and many I may not ever see at all. I just have to trust that He is faithful.

One thing, though, that I have realized through this time in my life is that, while I may not completely understand God's full picture, He has revealed something to me. My passion and love for music and worship has only intensified. I have come to realize that it is not just something I like to do, but it is literally a part of my being. It is God's calling in my life. I think He kind of had to bring me somewhere that I am completely without it in order to revive in me that calling I felt before.

So my encouragement to you is that, if you feel like you are somewhere in your life where you don't understand exactly why you are there, don't get discouraged. Sometimes the Lord has to take us somewhere in order for us to see something in a different light, or to reveal something to us because we wouldn't listen otherwise. Don't be discouraged. God has a plan, and He won't leave you out there alone.

"Yet, I am not alone, for my Father is with me. I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." - John 16:32c-33

A Heart Divided

It has been quite a while since the last blog post I have written. There has been a lot going on, and I have honestly had a harder time finding inspiration of something to write about. Many times I have sat down at my computer to compose a blog about something inspirational, or about how I feel, or something along those lines...but nothing has quite come out the way I want it to.

A couple of days ago, I reached the 90 day mark of living in Honduras, and I am now, officially, in my 4th month of living in Latin America. Throughout my time here, I have learned many things about myself, learned things about life, discovered more questions and uncertainties about myself, and I have come to realize that I have changed since moving here.

One of the hardest things I have had to deal with since moving here is finding my since of identity. A few weeks ago I posted something on Facebook about missionary kids and talked a little about how I find myself kind of caught in between two worlds, both of which seem to pull me at the same time. I will dub these two worlds "World T" and "World H."

From birth until the age 18, I lived and grew up in the wonderful state of Texas. It stole my heart at a young age, and it is still my love. It has always been home. It has my family, my familiar surroundings, and my cultural heritage there. I will always be a Texan. It's who I am. It is also the only place I have ever felt at home. I lived in Tennessee and New Jersey for a time between the ages of 18 and 20. Neither of them felt like home. I always felt like I was just having an extended visit somewhere. The entire time I was living in those other states, I always wanted to go home to Texas. And that is where I found my identity as a person for the longest time.

But then "World H" came into the picture. At the age of 20 (right on the verge of 21), I moved to Honduras, and it stole my heart away. (Honestly, it ripped my heart right into two.) Right after getting here, I felt welcomed and comfortable here. And, while only having lived here for 3, going on 4 months, I feel at home. That is something HUGE for me to say. Recently I took a trip to Belize to renew my visa so I could come back to Honduras and stay through the rest of the school year. The entire time I was in Belize (although a beautiful country), I felt uncomfortable and out of place. When the plane landed back on Roatan, I immediately let out a sigh of relief because I had made it home. Since moving here, I have grown accustomed to this way of life. I have taken on the cultural aspects, the food, the lifestyle, the language, and everything. And now my heart is torn in half between my "World T" and my "World H."

Now, I don't expect many, if any at all really, to understand this next part. It would sound kind of silly to me if I was an outsider hearing this. Quite honestly, though, I don't really see myself as an American anymore. And I don't see myself as really a Honduran either. I see myself as half American, half Honduran. Many of you are probably thinking, "Ok, Tim, that's a pretty drastic thing to say after only living there for 3 months. That doesn't make you Honduran." And yes, that would be true if I had come out here with someone from home, someone that I maintain my American culture with, or a place I go to get back in touch with my American roots. However, that's not the case with me. I came out to Honduras alone, with no one from back home. I live in an area where I am one of the only white people in my surroundings. I go to a church where I am the only gringo. Spanish is the most common language I hear except for when I am teaching classes in school (and even then the kids are usually speaking spanish in class). I speak spanish every single day at school and in day-to-day life, and I speak spanish about 60-70% of the time I'm in the house. So, honestly, you can see that I am literally immersed in the culture. Also, I am still in my developing years that are essential in the formation and identity creation of who I am as a person.

All of this to simply say that I am not the same person I used to be.

My heart is kind of in a battle between the two places. My home of Texas which I have loved and been in since birth, and my home of Honduras, a country that my heart has loved since the age of 12.

This wasn't really a blog of inspiration, or a blog of "look at how cool life is here," or anything like that...it was more of a way to share part of me with you guys. I promise that the next blog will be something of inspiration and fun reading!


Until next time friends and family,
-Tim Tito
(Native Texan and Catrachigringo in training)

So This Begins the Next Chapter of My Life

  As I stand in the long line of people, my heart beats with excitement, yet throbs with the knowledge of leaving that with which I am familiar. I peer back over my shoulder and see my family looking at me with smiles on their faces. Their smiles give me the assurance I need as I slowly take a deep breath and 'calmly' let it out. Ok, I think to myself, You can do this.

  

  I walk up to the man at the counter and hand him my ticket and passport, just praying that there are no complications. 'Cuz that's all I need to start this trip, I say quietly under my breath. Within seconds he hands back my passport and ticket, ushers me through to security, and through the metal detector I go. As I walk out on the other side, I look back one last time to see if my family is still there. They are. I wave and walk around the corner towards my gate.

  

  Within an hour my flight boards the plane and we are taking off down the runway. Goodbye America. See you again in 6 months. I try to sit calmly and pretend like I am totally used to flying internationally. I take out my book and start reading. 4 chapter later, I am asleep until we arrive in Costa Rica, land of the Ticos.

  

  Half an hour later I am through security again and sitting in my terminal with an 8 hour layover. Thank the Lord they have wifi, because my phone sent me a text saying I will be charged $2.50 for every minute of data I use. Well, time to call the family and tell them I made it safely to Costa Rica. It's late, and we talk for about half an hour. Then I decide to go and explore the terminal until I realize I'm tired and should try and sleep. Let's just say that does not end up working. I pick my head up from my "nap" and see a bunch of little children running around, getting ready to board their flight. No going back to sleep, I say in my head, so I decide to get ready to board instead, even though my flight doesn't leave for another 2 hours.

  

  7:30 AM I am sitting in the airport in San Salvador, just barely making it in time to board my next flight to finally get to Roatan. All the passengers board a small bus to take us over to the plane. It is surprisingly small compared to the other planes I have been riding in, but I smile, knowing it is the last one I have to get on for a while. Almost there, God. Thank you!

  

  I sleep through most of the flight, and then I am woken up by the captain speaking over the intercom. "Vamos a llegar en 22 minutos." I sit up a little more and look out my window to see Honduras below me. A rush of excitement fills my body as I realize that I am just 22 minutes from landing in the country I have wanted to move to since I was a young kid. I gaze down upon the beauty of the country from a bird's-eye-view. I get to live here for the next 6 months. I smile to myself and just stare out the window.

  

  Next thing I know, we are beginning to descend and land on my island. It is absolutely beautiful. The plane comes to a halt after going down the runway for a little while. I look down at my papers to make sure I filled them out right, and then I grab my things to get off the plane. Everyone else passes me and one by one they step off the plane and onto the land.

  

  I am the last one out. I clutch my bag and adjust my backpack before stepping off the plane. The sun shines in my eyes, and walk down the steps. When both of my feet are on the ground, I stop and just take it in for a few seconds. So this begins the next chapter of my life.

-Tim Tio

(Native Texan and Catrachigringo in Training)

Living a Life in Purple

LIVING A LIFE IN PURPLE

"When you live in a red country and then move to a blue country, you will never be able to go back. You can never be completely red again, and you will never be entirely blue. You will forever be purple."

  This is a quote I heard from a missionary back when I was in the 6th grade, and it has stuck with me ever since. I am living proof of this statement. For me, Texas was my "red country," and Honduras is my "blue country." I can never go back to just being a Texan, and I will never completely be a Honduran. I will forever be "purple." I live in a perpetual state of limbo, walking a line between the two.

  I will never be able to explain fully to my Honduran friends and people why it is that I talk the way I do, or why I love biscuits and gravy. I won't be able to explain in totality the love I have for the country, and the ways of the south, or why I use the words "y'all" and "fixin' to."

  Just like I will never be able to explain to my Texan friends why I have such an intense craving for baleadas and platano maduro. I won't be able to explain why Reggaeton music makes a "lily white boy" like me want to dance. I will always get looks when I speak spanish around my friends in the states, and I will always get looks from other latinos when I use slang words from Honduras like "pucha" and "canchita." 

  I can never go back to living the exact same way I used to before I moved out to Roatan. I will forever have a mixed culture in the way I live and speak. Any of my friends who moved to a different country will understand what I am saying.

  And you know what…I am ok with all of this. I love living this way. English will always be my go-to language, and I will always love BBQ and living in Texas. But wherever I go, Honduran food and the language will follow me. Living a life in purple is actually pretty cool…I encourage you to try it sometime.

Until next time,

-Tim Tito

(Native Texan and Catrachigringo in Training)

TEXAS: A Land I Call Home

   Living here in Honduras has given me a love for the Latin American culture. In the future, I will be writing a post about life in Roatan and cultural aspects of this place. However, today, I have been thinking a lot in my homeland and the culture there. So, I would like to give you guys a basic run-down of my home, Texas.

   Texas is an amazing, beautiful, majestic, friendly, and basically perfect state! (If you can't tell, I am just a little biased.) Yes, yes, I know that I went a little over the top there…but the first thing you need to know about Texas is that we are probably some of the nicest and friendliest people you will ever meet…but we are also probably the most prideful people you will ever meet. We love our state, and everyone in it (well mostly everyone in it). If a Texan is ever in another state and meets another person from Texas, we will suddenly become the best of friends…even if we don't know each other and we live on completely opposite sides of the state.

    Oh! And that's another thing! Texas is BIG. This time I'm not over expressing it. To cross from one side of Texas to the other (side to side, top to bottom, etc.), it will take you close to 13 hours to get through our state. And we have all sorts of terrain. We have flat lands and mountains, deserts and forests, hot and cold, beaches and islands, cities and farm lands. You name it, we probably have it.

Something else to know is that we also love our Cowboys. Well…almost everyone loves them. But here is the funny thing about it. We love them because we are loyal people…not because the Cowboys are actually that great of a team. Ask most people from Texas why we like the Cowboys, and you will probably get answers like: "Because I'm from Dallas. You have to stay loyal to your state!" Yes, we know they haven't won a super bowl since 1990-something…but we are all still holding on to that dream that one day they will claim that glorious victory again!

   A few other things you should know about Texas: we like our guns, we don't all have accents (but we can all turn it on if we want to), family is important to us, football is basically another religion because it is so important to the people of that state…Also, we are NOT "Texians." Please just stop! The word is "TEXAN." And while we are on the topic of how to say certain things, the drink is called "Coke." In Texas, we have one word for a carbonated beverage, and that is "coke." If you say soda or soft drink, you will probably get some looks, but we will let it slide…just don't. ever. say. Pop. I'll just leave it there.

Here are some words and phrases you should probably know if you ever decide to travel to Texas:

1. Y'all - the southern way of saying "you all." Get used to it, because you will hear it a lot.

2. Fixin' to - this is the way Texans say "I'm about to…"

3. Bless your heart - this phrase can be used in different ways. It can be used to comfort someone or to show sympathy. But the most common way you will hear it used is a replacement for: "That poor soul is just plain stupid…I feel sorry for him/her."

4. Howdy - A common greeting. It is a replacement for "Hello."

   There are also different degrees of Texans. There are 1). Those who were born in Texas, but moved away while still a child [Status: Texan]; 2). Those who were born in another state but moved to Texas [Status: Texan]; 3). Those who moved to and lived in Texas for a short time before moving somewhere else, or have family in Texas and visited them a lot [Status: Honorary Texan]; 4). Those who were not born and possibly not raised or lived in Texas, but one parent is from Texas [Status: Half Texan]; 5). Those who were born and raised in Texas [Status: Native Texan/Full blooded Texan].

   As you can see, Texans are pretty accepting of everyone, and we will basically take you in if you ever lived in Texas, have a parent from Texas, or have a love for anything Texan.

The last thing I feel you should know about Texas (at least at this point in time) is that we LOVE food. Texans have a love for BBQ, almost any type of meat, TexMex, and Mexican food. If you are going to someone's house in Texas, you can be 99% sure that you will be fed well.

   All in all, Texas is a wonderful place to go. This article is just barely a glimpse at the culture and land of Texas. There is so much more I could say about this place, but I thought I should give you the spark-notes version of it. If you have never gone to or visited the state of Texas, I encourage you to go. It is a place I dearly love, and I look forward to going home to see it again.

If you have any comments or suggestions of things to add to this article, or something you would like to hear about or a topic you would like me to write about, please leave your comment below.

Love you guys!

-Tim "Tito" 

(Native Texan and Catrachigringo in training)