When We Don't Understand Why

Let's get real. There are some days, months, or seasons that we go through and we don't really understand why we are going through them. I'll share a little bit of my story, and maybe it will be encouraging to you.

If you guys know me, you know that music is a very big part of my life. I went to college to study music, specifically for the church. It was one of the greatest things I have done in life. I knew God wanted me there, because He made a way for me to do it when all odds were against me. However, by the end of my time receiving my education and degree, I felt kind of burnt out on the whole "worship" music thing, and was not sure if I actually wanted to do that anymore. I was a little worried that I had just wasted all that time and money for something that was uncertain and that I felt I wasn't sure if I wanted to do anymore.

Fast forward about 4 months later, I am now in a place where music is the farthest thing from what I do. Now I am working in another country, teaching math in a school, doing absolutely nothing with music. I have not played an instrument since I moved out here, I have not sung since I moved here, and I have definitely not done any vocal warm ups. Because of this lack of music, I have gone backwards in my "musicalness." My piano and theory skills definitely are not on point like they were, and my singing has suffered. I used to be able to belt an A above middle C, and now I am lucky if I can sing out a D# above middle C without having my voice crack. Being completely honest, it is very discouraging, and I get frustrated many days. Because of talking all the time in class, I never have moments to just let my voice rest, so I always feel horse.

Now don't get me wrong on this next part I am going to say. I absolutely love Honduras and my experience out here (if you could not tell from all of my other posts). I would not trade this part of my life for anything in all of the world. I am beyond grateful to be out here, and I could not be happier. However, through this experience, I constantly ask God why exactly He brought me out here. I see fruits of my time here, and I know God has big plans for why He brought me out here. Many, I'm sure, I will not see until later, and many I may not ever see at all. I just have to trust that He is faithful.

One thing, though, that I have realized through this time in my life is that, while I may not completely understand God's full picture, He has revealed something to me. My passion and love for music and worship has only intensified. I have come to realize that it is not just something I like to do, but it is literally a part of my being. It is God's calling in my life. I think He kind of had to bring me somewhere that I am completely without it in order to revive in me that calling I felt before.

So my encouragement to you is that, if you feel like you are somewhere in your life where you don't understand exactly why you are there, don't get discouraged. Sometimes the Lord has to take us somewhere in order for us to see something in a different light, or to reveal something to us because we wouldn't listen otherwise. Don't be discouraged. God has a plan, and He won't leave you out there alone.

"Yet, I am not alone, for my Father is with me. I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." - John 16:32c-33