In all honesty, it has been a strong mix of emotions, as well as finding some things surprisingly easy, and others just as difficult as expected. One thing that is hard for me to fathom is the fact that I have already been back in the states for a month and a half. Some days it feels like it has been so much longer, and other days it feels as if I just got back yesterday. I'm not exactly sure how I feel about all of it, but I'm still in an adjusting process. Since I'm not really sure how I "should" present the pros and cons of being back, I guess I will just jump straight into it.
PROS:
There have been some very nice things about being back in the US. One of the greatest things is getting to be around my family and friends whom I had not seen for half a year. I've enjoyed eating some of my beloved TexMex food, and seeing places I have missed. I've also had the longest break from work in my entire life since I've been back...although I actually am ready to get back to a job because I feel so lazy. Also, being back in Texas means that I will get to be around for all the birthdays, weddings, and births that I have missed the last several years of my life with college and living out of country. There are many positives to being home. Surprisingly, I have adjusted fairly easily to being back..and I have to admit taking a hot shower is kind of nice, as well as being able to drink water from the faucet instead of running down to Eldon's to buy a 5 gallon bote de agua.
NOT CONS, BUT RATHER CHALLENGES:
While I am very happy to be home with my family after not spending much time with them for almost 3 years now, I have run into some things that have been difficult getting used to. While living in Roatan, I was immersed in the culture and (not quite sure how to translate this into english) me pusé la cultura and customs. A specific example is that in Honduras, we point to things with our lips...coming back to the states, I have gotten some strange looks from people.
I also really miss the music, the ocean, the pulperias, canchitas, and food (especially baleadas)! You don't find those things very easily (if at all) in the United States. I also really miss the people..and the Island accent :D
I will say, though, that the hardest thing for me being back is the whole aspect of speaking spanish and being accepted into a community. For anyone else who has gone on missions for an extended period of time, you know what I mean when I say that I don't really feel like I belong in one group or the other. I kind of feel like I'm lost somewhere in the middle. Obviously I am in an english speaking community, and I don't have a problem with that at all. However, it doesn't feel completed, if that makes sense. There's still a big part of me (like a puzzle piece) that has a connection with the latin community and life that I don't feel I get to experience. Living in Honduras, I got to speak spanish all the time, but here people don't speak to me in spanish unless I strongly implore them to (and even then it doesn't always happen). Roatan was a very bilingual place filled with people of all different skin colors of brown, black, and white, and almost everyone there spoke at least 2 languages, so the conversations were very much spanglish. Here though, since I'm white, people don't talk to me in spanish, so I'm having some trouble maintaining it.
Overall, it has been nice being back in the states. I will actually be here for another year at least because things did not work for me to go back to Honduras this next school year.
I do want to say, though, Honduras, I miss you very much. You are the country of my heart, and I will forever love you. Can't wait to come back and see you again.
-TimTito (Native Texan and Catrachigringo awaiting his return)
No comments:
Post a Comment